Purposes.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:37-39)

Recently, I've been struggling with the concept of friendship and what it means. For weeks I have been wondering what exactly is wrong with me that can cause people to turn away from me. I still have not figured it out. In the midst of this constant worry, my relationship with the Lord was estranged. I feel spiritually tired. I feel like that nothing I can do will help. Nothing that I do will fix my personality, fix my relationship with the Lord, fix my life, fix me. Well, according to the Bible, that is exactly right. That's exactly how we should feel.

This morning I was dwelling on my feelings and wonders, and I also was reading past blogs that I have written. Honestly, it's really mind boggling how your own works can inspire you later on. That's why I love literature. I read about what Louie Giglio said to us on Good Friday about the "do" path and the "done" path. 

The "do" path is all about what I can do to get back with God, what I can do to fix everything, what I can do...do...do." The "do" path is overwhelming. It is an impossible path to follow, and yet every Christian in the world follows it. Everybody is worried about what THEY can do to please God, what THEY can do to get ahead, what THEY can do..do..do.

GOD DOESN'T DESIRE OUR ACTIONS!

He desires our heart. God desires our FAITH more than our actions. For we cannot get to Heaven by works.  

But we are all as an unclean [thing], and all our righteousnesses [are] as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away. 

- (Isaiah 64:6)

According to the Bible, we are saved by God's grace, not works. We cannot work our way into Heaven. We cannot work our way to being loved by God. God's love is not conditional like the people on earth's love might be. Therefore, the "do" path only leads to destruction. Legalism falls under the "do" path. The life of the Pharisees which were strictly by following the laws so that they might get into Heaven were corrupt by do...do...do. So are we.

The "done" path is the path God has already paved for us by sending Christ for us to die for our sins. Remember, love came down and justice died. No matter what we do..do...do -- we cannot EVER do enough to earn anything from God. God freely gives to us. Therefore there should be no reason in the world why we should dwell on what we have done or will do because it has already been done for us.

So what does all this come down to? What is our purpose? What is my purpose? 
A few days ago, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. As shocking as this diagnosis was, it was more relieving because the doctors finally found out why I have been sick for a year. Recently, I have been so caught up in never being able to "live a normal life" because of finances, school, personal reasons, or what have you. I just couldn't figure out what purpose my life held. I got that God made me for a purpose, but what exactly was it?


Maybe my purpose IS to be sick, to simply have an underdeveloped immune system. Maybe my diagnosis is a blessing, an encouragement to someone else. I know that sounds so cliche. Simply, God knows who needs his love. God knows the people who need to hear about God's grace, His love for them, and the only way to get to Heaven. I, like anyone else, have been given the responsibility by the Lord to reach the broken and confused because it says so in the Bible. And I, like everyone else, has friends whose lives are lost. I have friends who wouldn't know God's grace from just sheer luck. Maybe my purpose in life IS to reach those people... But how? Not by the "do" path, but by the "done" path. Not by my works, what I can do, but what God can do through me. How? By love. 


God, show me how to love these people.
show me how to be a light that reaches far beyond the darkness of any pit that Satan could have on these people.
show me the way to love them, encourage them, and pray for them.
break my heart.
allow me to know that no matter what I could ever do, it will never be good enough because You don't desire doing. You desire believing, and knowing above all else.
I know that I know that I know that You died for me, that You love me, and that You save me daily.
Allow me to show these people exactly that. 
Allow me to be different. 
Make my life stand out from the world so that they may see that my life is not mine but Yours.


This is my purpose.